Fake Smiles And A Bottle Of Pills

I'm tired of this pain
This anguish in my heart
I'm ready for this hell to end
And my journey for heaven to start

So I made up my mind
And went to the bathroom
To get some pain killers
Hoping the effects would happen soon

I opened that bottle
And took every single one
I then only laid down
Praying my life would soon be done

All I wanted
Was good friends and some attention
I got part of one but not the other
Not even a mention

"I've got your back"
Is what people say
But then when I need help
"Maybe some other day"

I needed friends who help me when I need it
Like good friends should
Not ones who attack me with words
Like any good lawyer would

I have pain
And feelings too
My times of happiness
Are to far and few

I don't want to pass
I don't want to go
But this pain in my heart
Is all I know

I want to purge this pain
These feelings of sorrow
Then go to sleep
And not wake up tomorrow

Instead of attacking me with words
Kill me
Release me from this hell
Set me free

I'm tired of trying
To hold your problems on my shoulders
They're crushing me
Like the largest boulders

I do what I can
To help myself and you
But when no one helps me help myself
I don't know what to do

All I'm looking for
Are friends who always got my back
Not ones who just
Keep on the attack

"These pills will take effect soon"
I had said
"Nothing will hurt me anymore,
After I'm dead"

After these thoughts
I finally fell asleep
In nothing more than
A broken heap

The worst time I've had
I can surely say
Is when I awoke
The next day...